Gerald Ford: Say, Homer, do you like football?

Homer Simpson: Do I ever!

Ford: Do you like nachos?

Homer: Yes, Mr. Ford.

Ford: Well, why don't you come over and watch the game, and we'll have nachos? And then, some beer.

Those that know me reasonably well will tell you if the words "football" and "nachos" are replaced with "lacrosse" and "Chipotle," chances are I'll get along with that person swimmingly.

So while working on a story for tomorrow's print edition on Maryland defenseman Joe Cinosky as the Terrapins head into the ACC lacrosse tournament, it just so happened Chipotle came up over the course of conversation.

Now, there have been lacrosse-Chipotle connections before. I've run into coach Dave Cottle in more than one Chipotle location in the greater College Park area, and he's also rushed off after an interview to go to the place that bills its "gourmet burritos and soft tacos."

But this is even more intense than those incidental run-ins.

"We have this whole group that goes to Chipotle a lot," defenseman Ryne Adolph said. "Basically, the more meat you get on your burrito, the more of a man you are. Joe only gets single meat on his burritos. As big a guy as he is, we make fun of him for getting a smallest burrito."

Indeed, Cinosky is a big boy --- 6-foot-3 and 225 pounds according to Maryland's media guide. But he's also enjoying the best season of his career, and credits much of it to better conditioning.

"Getting single meat has to do with me getting in better shape so I can actually play guys," said Cinosky, who has drawn the likes of Duke's Matt Danowski, Virginia's Danny Glading and Georgetown's Brendan Cannon.

That's quite the sage reply, especially when he insisted he wasn't saying anything about his teammates --- other than "they could get in better shape."

At that point, it was time to figure out who --- based on the formula Adolph described above --- was the Terps' biggest man.

"Actually, Travis Reed gets triple," Cinosky offered. "You can tell he gets triple."

The freshman attackman checks in with sportswriter-like dimensions --- 5-foot-9, 195 pounds. But for a guy who was stuck answering all sorts of questions about an arrest earlier this month that led to a two-game suspension, the opportunity to talk about the damage he does to a burrito seemed rather welcome.

"I usually go double chicken and one steak," Reed said. "I don't like beans so I don’t get beans. I ask for a little less rice and I get mild, medium and hot salsa, sour cream, cheese. I usually get a little extra cheese, then I get guacamole and lettuce. I get the works pretty much — pretty much everything they've got."

The next question was obvious: What happens when all this stuff punches through a tortilla?

"If it breaks, I make sure to tell them to re-wrap it," Reed said. "I don’t let them mess up my burrito."

Spoken like a real man.

--- Patrick Stevens