There are days Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen returns to his office ready to joke with reporters after practice and others when he's so fed up with what he just watched for two hours that he wants them gone as quickly as possible.
Today was the rare mix of both kinds of moments.
Ralph started things off with an unusual exchange, leaving little doubt he was ticked about something.
"Hey, were you talking to the kickers out there?" Friedgen asked.
"I was in class," said a befuddled Andrew Zuckerman of the Diamondback. He was not alone in not understanding what the heck was going on.
"Huh?" Friedgen said. "Who was the guy talking to the kickers. He had a pad and pen."
"It wasn't him. I don't know who it was," said the Terrapin Times' Keith Cavanaugh, whose decade-plus around the program would make him as good a candidate as any to recognize someone at football practice.
Friedgen, though, still had some things to say.
"Just so we're all on the same page, you don't talk to the players while practice is going on. I don't care if they're kickers or not, is that clear? Or you will not be at practice ever again. OK? It was a guy with a blue hat on. ... Find out from [punter Travis] Baltz who that was, OK? I told him not to talk to him, and he followed him all the way down again and talked to him."
In four seasons of covering Ralph (2001 at the Diamondback and the last three years with the Times), I can't ever remember a rant quite like that. Not that it wasn't warranted, just really bizarre.
Anyway, a shaky practice hadn't helped the big fella's mood any. But he made me laugh quite a bit with his reply to a question about the Terps' 14-10 victory over Florida International last year.
"I knew that going in that they were a very good football team. I can't believe they didn't win a game. I bet every team they played was a knockdown, drag-out fight. ..."
Florida International, of course, was involved in a ridiculous brawl when it played Miami last October in its most recent game at the Orange Bowl. And at that point, I was willing to take the risk Ralph wasn't making a joke and just cracked up because the first thing I associate with Florida International (besides its airport-like name) is that melee.
"No pun intended," he said with a grin. "You had to laugh at that."
Indeed I did. The Ralph Friedgen Comedy Hour. Coming to Miami this Saturday. Plenty of good seats at the Orange Bowl still available.
-- Patrick Stevens