Some folks have been busy lately, ginning up fodder for Jeff Foxworthy. Here's the first entry in today's Redneck Culture files:

A woman in [Dunbar, W.Va.] was charged with battery on a police officer after the officer said she wiped her nose on the back of his shirt.
Cpl. S.E. Elliott said he had arrested the 36-year-old woman last week after seeing her slap a man, bite him on the elbow and spit in his face. Elliott said the woman wiped her nose on him as he led her into the police station for booking on a charge of domestic battery.

In the words of insightful cultural critic Larry the Cable Guy, that there's funny, I don't care who you are.

Alas, sometimes redneck culture is more tragic than comic, especially when it involves a Hooters restaurant and the well-known redneck propensity for senseless violence:

A customer who was upset over his tab fired several shots into a Hooters restaurant, leaving a manager and another patron in critical condition Saturday, police said. …

Managers asked the man to leave after he refused to pay his bill, according to Miller. The man went outside and started firing shots from a .40-caliber handgun at the building, Miller said.

And from my native Georgia comes news of another redneck tragedy:

A sport utility vehicle speeding down a muddy road slammed into trees and exploded, killing four people, including two children, and injuring two others, authorities said.

Investigators believe alcohol, recent rain and reckless driving may have been factors in Friday night's crash of the Ford Bronco, which burned completely, state Trooper J.T. McMillan said.

"They were out there, playing around, mud-bogging on the dirt road," McMillan said. "They got stuck in the dirt and were pulled out by a dump truck. They sped off down the road and the driver struck two trees."

The SUV was traveling around 70 mph at impact, and the occupants weren't wearing seat belts, he said. (Emphasis added)

For the benefit of city slickers out there, it may be necessary to explain that "mud-bogging" is a non-competitive recreational activity in which drivers seek to demonstrate their all-terrain prowess by driving through some muddy place, usually a flooded dirt road.

Getting stuck in the mud is all part of the fun, so that years later, you and your buddies can swap stories about your outlandish feats: "You remember that time down on Creek Bottom Road, when Vern got his Silverado stuck so deep that the mud was coming in his windows?"

Four-wheel-drive SUVs are preferred by mud-boggers, although not exactly necessary. When I was a teenager, I occasionally went mud-bogging in my 1973 VW Beetle.

But 70 mph on a rain-slicked dirt road? That's not recreation, that's suicide.

-- Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

Cindy Sheehan and the anti-war crowd aren't going to win many friends this way:

There could be some discord during the Tournament of Roses Parade as demonstrators promise to raise issues during the holiday spectacle that has been going on for more than a century. Human rights advocates plan to protest a float honoring the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games and anti-war activists, including "Peace Mom" Cindy Sheehan, intend to rally for peace. . . .
Sheehan, the outspoken San Francisco Bay area activist whose son was killed in Iraq, is campaigning for Congress against Rep. Nancy Pelosi and calling for the impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. She will join other pro-impeachment and anti-war groups at the parade, according to her sister, Dede Miller.
As many as 1,000 supporters are expected to rally before and after the parade and distribute 20,000 pamphlets while flying 300 banners along the parade route, said Peter Thottam, executive director of the Los Angeles National Impeachment Center.

Pushing politics into the Rose Bowl parade -- that's going to make you real popular.


-- Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

The Western world recoiled in horror when an 11-year-old Afghan girl, betrothed to a 40-year-old man, was highlighted as the UNICEF Photo of the Year:

UNICEF explains:

He's 40, she's 11. And they are a couple -- the Afghan man Mohammed F.* and the child Ghulam H.*. "We needed the money", Ghula's parents said. Faiz claims he is going to send her to school. But the women of Damarda village in Afghanistan's Ghor province know better: "Our men don't want educated women." They predict that Ghulam will be married within a few weeks after her engagement in 2006, so as to bear children for Faiz.

During her stay in Afghanistan, it consistently struck American photographer Stephanie Sinclair how many young girls are married to much older men. She decided to raise awareness about this topic with her pictures. Particularly as the official minimum age for brides in Afghanistan is 16 and it is therefore illegal to marry children.

This story touches on one of the most powerful influences of culture, namely the question of what is right and proper in terms of sexuality, marriage and family life. Writing in the German magazine Spiegel, Leon de Winter says:

We are beholding the fiercest barbarism imaginable. But a carefree cultural relativism -- which this age has donned as its outward manifestation of decadent indifference -- allows many to simply look away. They turn away from the sight of an 11-year-old girl, who is about to be raped by the man sitting next to her.

The revulsion seems universal, from Michelle Malkin to feminist blogger Melissa McEwan, who writes:

The terror in that little girl's eyes breaks my heart into a thousand pieces -- especially because we are meant to have freed her; we are meant to have given her a better life.

'Expanding like mosquitos'

One of Malkin's commenters, Rational Thought, observes:

Mark Steyn is being called before a Canadian "human rights commission" for the crime of pointing out in his best-selling book "America Alone" that the flavor [of] Islam illustrated in that photo above is incompatible with Western democracy. We musn't criticize such multiculturalism because, you know, that 11-year-old girl really wants to be raped by that nasty old deviant. She has 2 choices: submit to the rape, or have her father/uncles/cousins slit her throat. But, hey, don't you dare call such practices incompatible with Western democracy. Don't you dare. God help us. Where's the outrage?

At Human Events Online, Robert Spencer talks about the Steyn case:

To be sure, the article was pretty strong stuff. Here's a bit of it: "There are signs that Allah will grant Islam victory in Europe -- without swords, without guns, without conquests. The 50 million Muslims of Europe will turn it into a Muslim continent within a few decades." Even worse, it goes on to say: "Just look at the development within Europe, where the number of Muslims is expanding like mosquitoes. Every Western woman in the EU is producing an average of 1.4 children. Every Muslim woman in the same countries is producing 3.5 children." ...
There were just two problems: The "Muslim continent" statement is not only factual, it's stated in words no one can characterize as inflammatory. (Also, it's been said by Libya's strongman Muammar Qaddafi). Second, "The number of Muslims is expanding like mosquitoes" was not Steyn's phrase. He was quoting Mullah Krekar, a jihadist who currently resides in Norway, although officials have been trying for years to get him out of the country.

Demography and fertility

There is an important connection between Ghulam the 11-year-old bride and the demographic issues that have made Mark Steyn a thought-criminal in Canada.

According to the Population Reference Bureau, the total fertility rate (TFR, average lifetime births per woman) in Afghanistan is 6.8, compared to 1.5 in Europe and Canada. One of the reasons for this demographic differential is that early marriage and early motherhood are customary in Afghanistan. The 11-year-old child bride is an extreme manifestation of this phenomenon.

In the West, meanwhile, for four decades, the trend has been toward postponing marriage and motherhood, with the result being a decline in fertility. In 1960, the median age at first marriage for U.S. women was 20, and TFR was 3.5. In 2006, the median age at first marriage for women is 25, and TFR is 2.1.

As Ben Wattenberg of the American Enterprise Institute has explained, "Fertility delayed is fertility denied."

However, delaying marriage doesn't necessarily delay motherhood. Earlier this month, it was reported that more than 38 percent of U.S. births are to unmarried women. Federal officials, however, decided to highlight a relatively minor uptick in teen birth rates, which increased 3 percent. The real news about teen births, however, is that they are near an all-time historic low, having declined 34 percent since 1991. For girls 15-19, the "age-specific fertility rate" in 1960 was 89 according to the Census Bureau's International Data Base, whereas in 2007, it was 58.

Jamie Lynn: What's the scandal?

A week ago, bloggers reacted with scorn, outrage and ridicule when it was revealed that Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn is pregnant. Blogging at Wendy Shalit's Modesty Zone, Allison Josephs writes:

Is it simply a matter of age then? On the same web page that People.com announces Jamie Lynn's "teen pregnancy" we also learn that, 22 year old singer Lily Allen is pregnant from a boyfriend she's been dating for only three months. But this couple is "obviously . . . thrilled by the news" according to Allen's rep, whereas poor Jamie Lynn's situation is what we Jews call a shanda.

Now I know that 22 is older than 16, but what if Jamie Lynn were 17, 18, or 19? . . . 70% of People.com readers polled think that Jamie's Nickelodeon show should be canceled since she got herself into this mess and only 18% say they feel any sympathy for her. I'm wondering what percent of these people are OK with a sixteen year old having sex? Probably more than 18%.

This highlights a major cultural difference: Americans are outraged by an 11-year-old girl getting married in Afghanistan; in Afghanistan, the outrage would be directed toward the 16-year-old -- or anyone else -- having sex (and babies) without being married.

Having babies is a natural consequence of having sex, and there was a time in American when being married was considered a prerequisite for both sex and motherhood. As Maggie Gallagher has observed:

What we have called our 'teen pregnancy' crisis is not really about teenagers. Nor is it really about pregnancy. It is about the decline of marriage.

But while Mark Steyn is in hot water for condemning the "barbarism" that endorses 11-year-old brides in Afghanistan, political correctness forbids condemnation of the trend that produces a 38 percent illegitimacy rate in the United States. As Leon de Winter says, "a carefree cultural relativism" is an "outward manifestation of decadent indifference."

-- Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

C'mon, admit it. Watching the snow-bound antics of Hillary, Bill, Huckabee, Mitt and all the others is pretty entertaining -- but it's just not the same without Leno and Letterman laughing along with the rest of us, is it?

Well, the good news is the bad boys from late night are all queuing up to get their writers-strike-stricken shows back on the air. Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien are coming back on Jan. 2, and David Letterman isn't far behind, the Daily News reports.

Letterman, apparently, is trying to get an exemption from the Writer's Guild of America that would allow him to come back with his writing staff. But Leno and O'Brien are apparently going to come back on the air without jokes.

This is from TV Editor Richard Huff in yesterday's Daily News:

As members of the guild, Leno and O'Brien would be in violation of their contracts if they actually write jokes, according to WGA rules.

How the shows will look without writers is unclear. Producers for "Tonight" and "Late Night" said yesterday they would now sit down to plan out shows without comedy bits and sketches, which require WGA members.

No jokes? What is The Tonight Show without jokes? Charlie Rose?

And get this: even if you wanted to help, NBC is saying "thanks but no thanks." The network's Web site is telling would-be comedy writers in no-uncertain terms to keep their jokes and bits to themselves (the main concern seems to be avoiding lawsuits over authorship).

"NBC cannot accept, consider or pay for any unsolicited creative ideas or materials," NBC says on the "Contact Us" page. "If you send something anyway, you waive any claims with respect to your submission. So why send it?"

Sheesh. What's comedy without a little kibbutzing? So NBC doesn't want your joke? Send it to us. Click on that comment box below and let's see what you've got. If we uncover a budding comedy genius out there, there could be a Washington Times coffee mug or key chain in the deal. Hey don't laugh, these key chains are practically Franklin-Mint worthy!

OK. The gauntlet's tossed. Crack us up.

-- David Eldridge, managing editor, WashingtonTimes.com

The Spears family tradition carries on:

Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old "Zoey 101" star and sister of Britney, told OK! magazine that she's pregnant and that the father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.

This next line is classic:

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

"So unexpected"? "Total shock"? Kids, this is basic human biology:

Sex = reproduction = baby

Jamie Lynn is stupid enough to find the natural consequences of sex "unexpected," so what does the celebrity magazine do? Give her a platform to lecture others:

What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

Right. Whatever you do, don't "be judgmental." As to the position Jamie Lynn put herself in, the expectant 19-year-old father is the son of a paper mill worker from Cleveland, Tenn.

It's hard not to be amazed by the consistent downward mobility of the Spears girls. One might expect that famous, successful and wealthy young women would choose as their companions famous, successful and wealthy young men. Alas, no.

Big sister Britney, at the very pinnacle of her success, selected as the sire of her offspring an unknown "backup dancer" (who, according to the courts, is actually the more responsible parent). And now little sister Jamie Lynn, a popular young TV actress, hooks up with an absolute nobody. (While the gossip blogs are going wild over this story, no one has yet reported whether the teenage dad has a high-school diploma or a job, let alone anything that might be called a "career.")

At least they can't be accused of being "judgmental," right?

— Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

Ann Coulter is still the hottest speaker on the American college campus lecture circuit:

As reported last week, Young America's Foundation will be bringing Miss Coulter to CPAC on Feb. 8.

-- Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

Pro-life groups were angry last month when Dr. Alberto Hodari was invited to Michigan's Wayne State University to give a speech entitled "Why I Am An Abortion Provider."

At her "Pro-Life Pulse" blog, Jill Stanek linked to a site that blames Dr. Hodari for the deaths of two patients, including 15-year-old Tamia Russell. (More on Tamia's death here.)

Students For Life of America obtained video of the Wayne State speech, in which Dr. Hodari says:

I have great satisfaction of what I do, and I never feel bad or worried about doing abortions.

Here's a short video clip including that quote, as well as Dr. Hodari boasting that doctors have "a license to lie."

Here's the full video of the speech, which is about 50 minutes long:

In a press release, Students For Life noted that, about 12 minutes into the video, Dr. Hodari "spoke about how little he washed between abortions because it chafed his hands":

"To hear Hodari speak, one wonders if Michigan is the third world," SFLA Executive Director Kristan Hawkins said. "Planned Parenthood complains about 'back-alley' abortions, even though Hodari is running a business where he's barely washing his hands between abortions."

Student President Ashley Tyndall said, "Several women have died while getting abortions with Hodari, and yet the Michigan board of health has never investigated him. How many women have to die before the bureaucrats start telling Hodari to wash his hands and tell patients the truth."

Dr. Hodari's speech was sponsored by Medical Students for Choice, which warns about "a dangerous shortage of trained abortion providers."

— Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times

After two consecutive headline-making speeches at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, many had wondered if bestselling author Ann Coulter would be invited to address CPAC '08, scheduled for Feb. 7-9 at Washington's Omni Shoreham Hotel.

Today we have the answer: Yes ... and no.

While Miss Coulter has not been invited to speak at CPAC, she will appear during the conference at a separate event sponsored by the Young America's Foundation, Human Events, Townhall.com, Citizens United, and the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute.

But those who want to hear Miss Coulter at CPAC will have to act fast. Her speech, according to YAF officials, will be given at 3:30 p.m. Friday, Feb. 8, in the Omni Shoreham's Palladian Ballroom, which has a standing-room-only capacity of 1,200. But YAF officials say the event will be "theater style," which reduces the maximum seating to 500.

Given that CPAC usually attracts 5,000 attendees, the Coulter speech is likely to become a hot ticket, and YAF is making free tickets available in advance:

You are responsible for registration with CPAC through www.cpac.org. This event is a supplement to the general CPAC program and you are not eligible to sign up if you are not registered for the whole conference.

Therefore, anyone who is not already registered for CPAC must register now and then contact YAF, if they want to hear Miss Coulter's speech.

So, even though she's not invited to speak on the main CPAC schedule, Miss Coulter will still be helping sell tickets to the conference.

— Robert Stacy McCain, assistant national editor, The Washington Times