Iowa, PLEASEGAWDMAKEITGOAWAY ... anyone else feel like us?

OK ... so we kinda dig the horse race that is the Democrats, but it's starting to get awfully silly, all in all. The more this goes on, the more we could see voters deciding they don't like any of these people. The more time goes on, they certainly see less likable. We look forward to the Florida primary. Maybe by then things will be clearer.

Not to be mean but does the Huckster look like he's ballooning back up to his former size? Our esteemed colleagues agree with us that he does seem to be growing lately. Perhaps the stress of it all is pushing him thru too many Iowa drive-thrus. We know it's hard to eat right on the road -- just ask any rock band how blessed it is to find a random Cracker Barrel because of the reasonable chance of chowing on actual vegetables -- but still. He is a Southern man, which means he’s genetically incapable of resisting all the good stuff. Mebbe his handlers, aka his family, could possibly get him on the Zone diet delivery program, like half of Hollywood. Just a thought. We nudge because we care. All in all, Americans want someone semi-fit in the White House, we suspect.

Did anyone else out there enjoy the weekend "Beverly Hillbillies" marathon on TV Land? We did. What a way to start the year right. It kind of made up for our Gators losing to Michigan. Sigh.

When we read that a certain candidate has enlisted thousands of "drivers" to help get the vote out on election day, all we can think is "union pressure." That must suck.

Remember, no matter how bad it might get this week -- pressure from bosses, from traffic, bad weather, etc. ... at least you're not in PAKISTAN. There ya go, something to be thankful for.

Speaking of which … Mrs. Bhutto's son is not really hot, but he could look a lot cuter if someone thinned and plucked his eyebrows. We do like his tres modern glasses, tho'. No surprise they sent him off to Oxford. Madrassa U would just not cut it.

We read with interest the story of a family who went on vacation and left their dog chained under the house for weeks, apparently. All we can say is that there is a special place in hell for people who are cruel like that to animals. We are renewing our NRA membership this instant. REPORT PEOPLE WHO TREAT THE CRITTERS BADLY, especially the ones who think it's just fine to chain up dogs in the backyard (the redneck scum).

There, that felt good.

-- Andrea Billups, The Washington Times