We were bemused yesterday when we saw a promo on the CNN Web site that said: "While politicians and the White House debate the war, Anderson Cooper is in Iraq, keeping them honest."

No offense to Mr. Cooper, who seems like a totally hardworking chap, but while he's over there slipping on the perfectly weathered Levi's, his pastel-colored Prada shirt and chicly rugged Varvatos boots, a crew of overworked producers are dodging bullets, weathering the heat and working their tails off so Anderson can look like he's "keeping politicians honest."

AS IF.

We were also laughing outloud in our pink news lair yesterday upon learning how the John Edwards campaign is offering supporters a chance to win a contest to rebuild homes in Katrina-damaged Louisiana. We thought anyone could just go down and volunteer. Who knew you needed John Edwards to put you in the charity loop? And, you don't have to give money to be entered to win. WHAT A GUY! Political genius.

We are not a fan of the ginormous clutch trend. A small one, fine. But the big ones look like circus props, something carried by a Serb juggling troupe.

Many of you fine readers have written us to inquire: Do you have tickets to the Spice Girls Reunion Tour? And of course the answer is yes! We think it will be smashing and we are considering going on the Posh Spice diet straightaway. She always looks so angry tho ... could it be from lack of food or just the haircut? We wonder.

Simon, Paula and Randy -- American Idol's dysfunctional triumvirate -- have volunteered to rescue Britney Spears ... seriously. We think she should move in with Simon, go shopping with Paula and let Randy record her in the studio. We think this is the ultimate humanitarian save, kind of like getting a bad puppy out of the pound. We just wonder if she's housebreakable?

We went to the gym last night to run the Princess Triathalon -- steam, sauna and whirlpool. We are so tired.

Funny how that polygamist leader Warren Jeffs looks not only like Ichabod Crane, but also much like the Harry Dean Stanton character in HBO's "Big Love." Or vice versa. We love Harry Dean. He is the greatest, oddest duck.

So ... nearly all of the tracks on Kenny Chesney's latest record, "Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates" are charting.

Not just a couple of singles ... like, all the songs. That boy is golden. He might outsell Fitty and Kanye. Talk about crossover.

-- Andrea Billups, The Washington Times

EDITOR'S NOTE: Andrea, don't hold your breath. We called Cat's, THE country record store in Knoxville, Tenn. (near where Kenny grew up). Fitty and Kanye are killing your boy.